To God be the Glory: Forgiveness: The Hardest of all Virtues

Forgiving someone who has crossed us does not seem to be an easy task. We find it difficult to forgive because we justify it as a reaction to a hostile behavior. We validate our reaction as a defence mechanism, and in doing so we set up safety zones to protect ourselves from pain and disappointment. When someone whom we trust hurts us, we feel completely devastated and find our own little world shattered and caved in. We struggle back on our feet but we withdraw and create walls.

When the opportunity comes our way and someone asks for forgiveness, do we really forgive and forget about the atrocity or does it linger?

Speaking during Surrey 2 Chapter's General Assembly, Fr. Augustine Obiwumma, St. Matthew's Parish Priest, reveals to the audience that there is nothing in nature that teaches forgiveness.

Fr. Augustine Obiwumma, who spoke during our March General Assembly, and who serves as Pastor of St. Matthew's Parish, gave us a mindful insight into the virtue of forgiveness. He explained that when we forgive, we always grant two gifts: one, to the person who angered us; the other, to ourselves. When we forgive the one who trespassed us we essentially stop feeling anger toward them. It releases us from harbouring ill-feelings and negative emotions. It sets us free.

Fr. Augustine cites a study divulging the importance of a healthy emotional state as the primary criteria for healthy living. Being able to forgive sets the stage for a sound frame of mind.

Fr. Augustine, as he is more fondly called, zeroed in on 'unforgiveness' as a 'killer of families.' When it feels like we are always on the "giving" side of the relationship and all we ever do is give, give and give, we are tempted to feel like giving up and running away. He says the remedy is forgiveness, total and unconditional.

When we forgive, we forgive not because someone apologized or they promised to do good or make amends. We forgive not because they repented. We forgive not because they deserve to be forgiven. We forgive because we must and because we ourselves are forgiven. We forgive because of who we are as Christians. We forgive because we are followers of Jesus Christ.

Our mindset is such that to forgive is to show weakness and to endure hardships. However, Jesus Christ in his most glorious splendor was sent from heaven to earth to teach us how to forgive. He suffered insurmountable shame and affliction in the hands of His tormentors yet He kept to Himself and prayed for them. He obeyed and submitted to the plans of our Heavenly Father and in essence Jesus, through His examples was teaching us how to forgive in spite of adversity.

Complete and unconditional forgiveness may be hard to do but we should remember that we ourselves are beneficiaries of forgiveness. All we have to do is to ask for the grace of forgiveness and our Heavenly Father will surely and promptly grant it unto us.

Xynia Galledo shares her bitter experiences from her past and how overcoming them released her from the bondage of unforgiveness.

Carol Baniqued recounts her ordeals that made it difficult for her to forgive. She confesses that although she may not have a perfect life she continuously holds on to a perfect God.